For those escaping religion desiring to know the presence of God.
Just Because...
Only in America…
• Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
• Are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
• Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
• Do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
• Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
• Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
• Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
• Do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
• Do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
• Do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
• Can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House. (This was popular when Clinton was in office)
Ever Wonder Why?...
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops..... On my desk I have a work station...
• If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
• If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?
• I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
• I don’t have a solution, but I admire your problem.
• If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you’re ahead"?
• Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
• Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
• What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
• If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
• Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
• Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?
• Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?
• Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
• Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don’t have?
• If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
• What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
• If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
• Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
• When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss??
• It sounds like a near hit to me!!
• When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
• Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not a door?
• Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you.
• Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
• How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
• If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
• Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dish-washing liquid contains real lemons?
• Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
• Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
• Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
• Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
• Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as "4’s"?
• What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
• Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
• Are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
• Do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
• Do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
• Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
• Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
• Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
• Do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
• Do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
• Do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
• Can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House. (This was popular when Clinton was in office)
Ever Wonder Why?...
• A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops..... On my desk I have a work station...
• If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
• If they arrested the Energizer Bunny, would they charge it with battery?
• I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.
• I don’t have a solution, but I admire your problem.
• If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you’re ahead"?
• Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
• Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
• What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?
• If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
• Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
• Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Orientals throw hamburgers?
• Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?
• Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
• Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don’t have?
• If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
• What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
• If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
• Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
• When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss??
• It sounds like a near hit to me!!
• When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
• Why is it, when a door is open it’s ajar, but when a jar is open, it’s not a door?
• Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you.
• Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.
• How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
• If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
• Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dish-washing liquid contains real lemons?
• Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
• Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
• Why do you park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
• Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
• Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as "4’s"?
• What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
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DAILY SPURGEON
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